In The Beginning of Our Adventure

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In The Beginning of Our Adventure

After a few months of taking a sabbatical from work and life I found myself in Phoenix, Arizona.  Not having all of the answers to the questions I had sought on this adventure in life, but knowing it was time for me to go back to Alaska, return to a job that had burned me out, and contemplating if I should still find a different path in life, I got on the computer and made my ticket arrangements to fly home when I was hit with a sudden urge.  It had been twenty years since my graduation, and a strong feeling came over me telling me I needed to attend this reunion.  Now I never had intentions to attend any of the previous class reunions, but this feeling was so powerful I felt obligated to fulfill its needs.

So, I changed my Alaska bound ticket and redirected myself to Idaho for the reunion.   I arrived back in my home town of Sandpoint, Idaho a few days before it started, not knowing what was drawing me here was weighing heavily on my mind.  The only thing I could do is go with the flow and let life take me to the place I needed to be.

I attended the first night of the reunion and found a couple people I have known over the years.  We were seated off to the side of the party, reminiscing of old times, and I all the while was wondering what it was that had drawn me here.  The evening came to an end and I was still uncertain if I would ever find the answer to the over whelming feeling I had been having.

As the second day wore on and the evening events came closer, I found myself hesitant on attending, but the feeling I had been having the last couple of days increased even more as I pondered on not going.  I figured I must follow this feeling so that it may unveil itself to me.

Sitting at the dinner table talking with old friends and having a glass of wine, I found myself getting very hot, needing to step outside to cool down and have a cigarette.  I was outside, again talking with some old classmates when that powerful feeling overcame me and drew my attention to a beautiful woman in a hot pink dress walking out of the building with her friend.  As they stood across from me, I realized she may be the reason I was drawn to this place at this point in my life.  After a few minutes she left and went inside leaving her friend standing alone. Wanting to find out who the woman in the pink dress was, I introduced myself to her friend and told her that I live in Alaska now.  She then shocked me with the information that Kris, the beautiful woman that was just with her moments ago, was also living in Alaska and has been living there since ten days after graduation.

As Kris, approached us my heart began to race and I started to feel nervous. “What do I say?”  “How do I say it?”  “Do I dare open my mouth?”  With butterflies in my stomach, I felt that if I did not open my mouth now I could regret it for the rest of my life.  As I stared into her eyes, I proceeded to introduce myself and tell her that I understand she lives in Anchorage, and that I as well live in Alaska.  At that moment; after my introduction and the feeling I got when she acknowledged me, I realized this was the reason for the universe pulling me here.  As we begun to talk about our lives, I started to feel something I had never really felt before.  “Could this be THAT feeling…?”

I have always felt half of me was missing.  I wondered is this my other half?  Is she my soulmate I had been searching for all of my life?  We continued talking for a bit in the group of people surrounding us, but as our conversation turned into more about our more personal lives, without even a pause or hesitation we migrated to the yard.  I had never felt so open with another person. As we continued talking, I found myself lost in so many areas such as her eyes, her voice, her smile, her lips, her laugh, and even the way she laid back on the grass as we communicated openly about our lives and where we are and what we want.

After what seemed like a brief moment in time, but really an hour later, we decided to go downtown and grab a drink at the local 219 bar.  Once we arrived we ran into her brother.  As we had a few drinks and listened to the live band playing out on the back patio I sat back and talked with her brother.  I decided to pull him aside and ask if he would be okay with me wanting to be in a relationship with his sister.  He asked me how much I like her and if I would take care of her.  I told him that I was feeling something I never have felt towards anyone before, and that I would take care of her like she was my world. With that being said, he told me to go for it.

As we continued our night I found myself realizing that the feeling I have was something special and that I really needed to care for this woman the way she and I both deserved.  I still did not fully understand the way I was feeling nor did I know what would transpire in the near future.  We wrapped up the night with us leaving my car in town and driving her rental car out to the house I was staying at during my visit.  On our way out of town, we stopped and grabbed a few things to drink.  Once we arrived at the house we sat on the deck and enjoyed the stars as we continued to talk about life and what we wanted out of it.

At about 3:30 AM we decided it was time to get some sleep, so as we laid our heads on the pillows, holding on to each other, gazing into each other’s eyes.  We both felt this strong pull towards each other.  After we finished having sex for the first time, we held one another as we fell asleep.  My heart fell further into a world that I had never experienced before.

Waking up the next morning, looking at the most amazingly beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, made my morning the best I ever had experienced in my life.  I began to realize that this woman lying before me was the one that I had been searching for my whole life.  As we awoke and started talking, falling back into the open communication we had the night before, I told her about my marital status, the fact I was waiting on the courts to finalize my paper work and that I was no longer living in the same house.  She revealed to me that she too was currently married and had asked for a divorce back in November of last year, but she was still residing in the same house at this point.

Knowing Kris had to leave on the plane that afternoon was tearing at my heart strings and I began to feel that I never wanted to be apart from her.  “Wait what does that mean?”  “What is this feeling that I am experiencing?”  “How is it that I feel this way?” I began to try and analyze this feeling that is new to me.  “Why am I feeling this way”, I began to wonder.  “Is this life is supposed to feel like?” “Is this the feeling that everyone thinks they have at some point in their life but only few people ever really find the true feeling?”  “Have I been truly been missing out on what life has to offer?”  These are just some of the questions I started to ask myself.

The time had come that I had to take her back to town so I could pick up my car.  I had begun to dread the fact that we had to part ways.  I wanted to change my ticket right away, so that I could travel back to Alaska with her.  Once she dropped me off at my car, I felt that empty feeling that I was so use to in my life.  Knowing this feeling all too well, I could not wait to get back to Alaska to see her again.

We continued to keep in touch by either texting or talking on the phone every chance we got; but with my phone reception as limited as it was in North Idaho, I would go to town just to make sure that I could hear from her and communicate with her every chance I could.

Finally, two days later, it was time for me to board my plane and get back to Alaska in the hopes of being able to gaze into Kris’s eyes again.  Once I landed, I could not wait to contact Kris and let her know I was back in town.  We quickly set time up to meet and once again to be by each other’s side.

Due to each of our own life situations, we made time to spend with each other as much as we could and this required utilizing hotels in the area.  As we worked out the plan to see each other, again the anticipation of laying my eyes on her created such an anxiety that I never felt before.

I booked us a room at the Dimond Hotel on the 25th of July.  I quickly realized in order for this to be right, and for her to be treated the way she should be treated, and the way I would want to be treated I needed to grab a few things.  So as my mind wondered on what I need to get and how this was going to be done, my anticipation grew.  I gathered up a few things, setup the room with red rose pedals covering the bed and floor, placed a dozen roses on the table and placed candles throughout.  “Was this enough?” I asked myself….  “I hope this shows how she makes me feel and how I feel about her and the way she deserves to be treated”, I told myself.

As I lay there awaiting my phone to ring so I would know when she would be on her way, my heart started racing.  I had to go outside to get some air.  I thought to myself and at that moment my phone rang; it was Kris calling me to tell me she was on her way.  I quickly ran outside so as to gather my composure and smoke a cigarette before her arrival.

Standing outside thinking about that moment I get to lay my eyes upon the beauty that has my body, my heart, and my mind in such a rich place in life, I started wondering what am I going to say, or do I just go up to her and hold her as to show her I never want to let her go?  So many choices and thoughts running through my head.  As she has arrived, I took a deep breath as I walked up to her and gave her a hug.

After our eyes gazed into each other’s for a brief moment, standing beside one another, we began our walk to the room.  I opened the door to let her walk in and see what it is she means to me and how I feel she is to be treated.  As I see her smile quickly increase, I know she understands what I am trying to relay without words.

Later that day, one of her friends called and asked if we would like to go to Jane’s Addiction, an outdoor concert at Moose’s Tooth.  We quickly accepted even though it was raining outside, and we figured why not this could be fun.  While she was still on the phone, I jumped online to acquire another ticket and off we went.  By the time we had got to the venue the rain was starting to get heavier. We parked the truck and geared up with what little rain gear we had and worked our way through the crowds.  It did not take long before the three of us became drown rats, as the rain had increased so much that it felt like boulders falling down on us.  As we quickly made it back to the truck to dry off, we decided it was pouring way too hard to continue to stand outside.  So off we went driving though the deep puddles filling the streets of Anchorage to pick up something to drink and relax back at the hotel.

Once we arrived back at the hotel, it was time for us to find some dry clothes.  As we spent the evening relaxing and enjoying each other’s company, I started to realize that I would have to soon let her go.  I did not look forward to that at all.

The next morning came entirely too fast and I wanted to find a way to turn back the clock.  As that time drew near, I started to feel the empty feeling increase that I had felt before.  My mind began to wonder, “When will the next chance I get to see her be?”

As the next week began, I wondered “How could I go a day without hearing her voice or looking into her eyes?”  This feeling that is inside me seems to be growing. “What is this feeling?” I kept asking myself.  I had never felt this before.  I laid down Sunday night, but all I could think about was wanting Kris beside me and when would be the next time I would be able to see or talk to her.  Each day we found ourselves texting and talking on the phone as much as we could.  Each evening we spent as much time a possible talking.  Then we started sending a picture of ourselves with our good morning text just so we could see each other without physically being with one another.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday came and went which felt like the longest days I have ever experienced, but I knew Thursday and Friday were going to be even longer as I had to head out of town for a company fishing trip.  As each day went by I began to understand what the feeling was that I had growing inside me.  The question was, “Do I say what it is I am feeling?”, “Is it too soon to tell her?”  As we talked on the phone Thursday evening it seemed to have slipped away ever so slowly.  Friday arrived and I was out at sea without a way to contact her, I found myself wondering how fast could this day come to a close so that I could hear her voice speak to me.

The boat had reached the dock and I was so excited to place my feet on the ground in the hopes of being able to talk to Kris.  I wanted to drive back to Anchorage so bad but found that I could not due to an accident had closed the highway down.  So, as we talked that night on the phone I found tears running down my cheek as I listened to her voice in my ear and right then and there I knew that I needed to tell her how I felt.  It was then and there in Seward, AK on July 31st 2015 I told Kris, “I LOVE YOU”.

Now I have said it and that feeling inside of me has revealed itself to both of us in the form of heart felt words.  As my body filled with warmth from the feelings within side of me I began to cry.   I have found a happiness that I have been searching my whole life for, my soul mate, my true love, the one that makes me complete.

Now I really want to make it back to Anchorage, but I couldn’t because of the highway closure.  Knowing what it was I had been going through, and not being able to hold her in my arms tonight was going to make tonight a long one.  The morning sun has risen and it is now time to hit the road to finally be able to hold Kris in my arms.

Without a second to spare I jumped in my truck and started driving back to Anchorage.  Once I arrived in Anchorage getting a room was a must.   I am now checked into the room and waiting for the arrival of the woman of my dreams, I sent her the hotel name and room number.  My heart began to race; I finally get to say in person that I love her, tell her what she means to me and how it is she makes me feel.  “Oh no I thought to myself!”  “How do I explain the feelings and what she means to me?”  “How can I put such things into the perfect words?” My heart started racing and my forehead started to sweat, I had to go outside and catch my breath I thought to myself.

As I finished my cigarette I turn to go inside and at that moment I receive a text from her saying she would be there shortly.  I entered the elevator and pressed floor two when I got another text saying “Are you going to let me in?” Seeing that text, the elevators doors could not open fast enough.  Exiting the elevator, to find this amazing woman that I have been waiting my entire life for standing before me in front of the door to our room, sent me into what I can only explain as a trans, as if we were the only two in this world.

Upon entering our room we grabbed a hold of one another, starred into each other’s eyes, and I told her “I Love You Kris”.  She returned with the words “I Love You James”.  I leaned in and gave her a kiss, the kind of kiss that makes you feel your inner most wishes, desires and thoughts come rushing through your body like never before.  We sat down and held each other for what seemed like just a minute; but it was much longer than either of us realized.  We then made what we can now officially call passionate love to one another.

Our bodies, minds and souls famished we finally realized it was time for us to venture out and get a bite to eat.  We headed to the restaurant across the way from our hotel named Juno.  When we walked in to the restaurant we found a table in at the front of the bar, off to the side and we quickly grabbed it.  The bar was almost empty, and as we sat and talked about anything and everything, we began to people watch the few patrons, unbeknownst to either of us this is something we both love to do.  The rest of the evening was purely amazing as we held each other, talked, laughed and then fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Sunday came entirely way too soon for the both of us as we had to part ways once again.  Tearing at my heart again knowing I was going to have to be away from her for another week.  “What can we do to see each other sooner?” I asked myself?  So Sunday night during our conversation on the phone I asked if we could setup time to spend at least 5 minutes together before either of us had to go to work.  Kris told me she would try and leave earlier for work earlier than normal so we could see each other.  With anticipation of seeing her Monday morning I tossed and turned throughout the night waiting for the alarm to go off.

Monday morning finally arrived and I was up before my alarm even had the chance to jolt me out of bed.  I quickly jumped in the shower, got dressed and drove into Anchorage to see Kris.  As she pulled into the Holiday gas station my heart started racing.  We continued to do this each morning as well as meeting for lunch throughout the rest of the week.  The week came to an end and we began to make plans for my birthday.    She told me on the phone before lunch that we wouldn’t be able to meet because she had to get a gift for me.  I wouldn’t take no for an answer and having to promise not to say a word about what her plans were, I obliged.  Having no idea where we were headed I sat back in the passenger seat wondering what was in store for me.  We found a parking spot downtown and we walked towards 5th Avenue.  Still not sure of our destination, I followed her in whatever direction she led us. We rounded the corner onto 5th Avenue and entered Nordstrom’s department store.  She then turns to me and said “Pick out whatever shirt you want”.  I looked at her and asked “Really?”  She replied “Yes really”.  We started looking at shirts and we picked three to try on. As I tried on the shirts I had made my choice and asked her what her choice would be.  I was not really prepared to hear that she had picked the same one I liked.  With a shirt in hand we walked towards the register but not without stopping for her to make sure I had a good quality undershirt to go with it.  Now this event has put me over the top!  What do I mean? You may be thinking. Well, no one has ever bought me a shirt of this quality before and I was in such awe over it.  I felt so giddy I didn’t even know how to act!

This had been the best birthday gift I had ever received and I could not wait to wear it!  Kris and I continued to text back and forth throughout the rest of the day and discussed plans for my actual birthday, which was tomorrow.  With plans finalized we decided that we would spend the day together for my birthday. She got me a hotel room for the night before so she could come to me in the morning.  I went home to gather my clothes.  I could not wait for the morning to come so I could see her and I knew tonight was going to be another long night of anticipation!  It’s now Friday morning, August 7th, my birthday and as I lay there in bed going in and out of a sleep waiting for my love to arrive, my heart was pounding.  As I open my eyes to see Kris standing before me wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me that she loves me, I knew today would be yet another amazing day.  We spent the morning cuddling, talking and making love. Around 2:30 that afternoon we ventured out to pick up Kris’s son and his cousin.   We headed out to Potters Marsh to watch the birds and spawning salmon.  Then it was off to Roadrunner Amusement Park where we raced go-karts.  I felt like a kid again.  The time had come to take her son back to his grandmother’s house which that also meant that my time with Kris had come to a near.  The reality that we must part ways again made me feel deep sadness.

Shortly after leaving one another she called me with the news of being able to look at a house we had found for us to move in together.  A few minutes later we met at a Holiday gas station where I jumped in her truck to go look at the house. As we pulled up into the drive to look at the “little cabin in the city” I knew that this was to be our first place together.  We quickly toured the home and fell in love with the place.  It was that time again to have to leave one another, but this time with a plan for me to come over to her house for drinks around the fire in the back yard to wrap up my birthday.

Fifteen minutes later Kris called me and said “Hi, this is Kris from the class reunion” and asked “If I was still in town and would I like to come over for drinks around the fire in the back yard at her house”.  I gratefully accepted this invitation, knowing that the situation may be a little awkward.  She told me that the door would be open and to head on in and that they would be back to the house in just a few after they ran to the store.

I entered the house and ventured out to the back porch to have a cigarette while I waited for her return.  She pulled into the driveway and my heart started to race. Not only for being able to see her and be by her side, but also for the fact that the situation we are both about to be in and the realization the  we could not hold or touch one another.  As we sat around the fire in the back yard talking about anything and everything with her friends and neighbor, my urge to kiss her and hold her got stronger.  It was getting late and every one was turning in for the night so Kris and I continued to sit around the fire and talk about the old days back in North Idaho.

The fire was burning down and it was time to turn in for the night.  We cleaned up the fire area and placed the cover over the fire pit as not to allow for any stray embers.  We made our way into the kitchen where we finished are drink and had sex over the kitchen counter before turning in for the night.

When morning came, I thought that I should leave but not wanting to be apart from her I stayed as long as I could until I felt the tension start to increase.  Until I left we sat out on the back deck smoking cigarettes and bull shitting with everyone in the house.  A time came that everyone in the house was leaving to go to the Saturday market except Kris and I.  Once the house was empty, Kris and I quickly took advantage of it and ran into the house once again to have sex in the kitchen before everyone returned.  The time finally came that I had to go and that feeling of sadness started to fill my body again.  Will I be able to see Kris on Sunday I started to wonder.

As we spoke on Saturday night I wanted nothing more than to just have her by my side.  We talked about ideas on how we could see each other on Sunday and with that we both turned in for the night.  As the morning came I rushed around to load up my truck so that I could take a load into my storage unit in Anchorage with the hopes that we could have just 30 minutes together.  We had finally figured it out she will run to Target and meet me in a nearby park.  I quickly started making my way to the park but that was short lived by a text message that I got to abort.  The plan was spoiled quickly with her husband wanting to go to Target and we unfortunately did not get to see one another on that Sunday.

Starting out the week again, we continued to meet each other in the mornings before work and made plans for taking lunches together each day.  During this week we completed our application for the rental.  Knowing we had five days of work left ahead of us, we started making plans for the next weekend so we could be with one another yet again.  The plan was – she was spending the weekend at her girlfriend’s house, but we would actually get to spend it together.  By the end of the week, we had received notice that we had been approved to move into the rental house on the 26th.  So, on Friday night I picked her up from her girlfriend’s house where she had parked her truck.  We headed out to the valley to introduce her to my parents.

It was late when we got there, so it wouldn’t be until the next morning that I could introduce my family to Kris.  Saturday morning came and they left early to go into Anchorage.  We woke up and enjoyed the quiet time together.  That afternoon they returned and I was finally able to have the love of my life meet my family.  After a wonderful dinner we took a trip up to Independence Coal Mine where we had a few glasses of wine and we enjoyed the misty evening air. Well, Sunday came and we had to head back into town to drop her back off at her truck.  Neither one of us really want to part.  During our drive back into Anchorage I was starting to feel that sadness and emptiness increase throughout my body.  I looked over at Kris only to notice that she too was feeling the same thing. She began to cry and proceeded to tell me that she did not want to be apart anymore and asked if we can afford to stay in a hotel until we figured out when we would be able to move into our new home.  I told her of course and that we would make it work.  She told me she would run home to grab clothes and finally have the conversation with her husband about leaving him that had needed to be completed since November of 2014.

With a week and a half left before we could move into our new home together we proceeded to stay in the Hilton Garden Inn in room 219. We never asked for this room, but it ended up being the same number as the place we hung out our first night at which was ironic.  As we spent the next few days in the hotel we started to plan out our next course of action.  We received notice that we could move into the house a week early.  Everything up to this point had worked out for us in such a way that is completely explainable to us.  After a few short days in the hotel we started our move into our new place together.

We both knew we would need some items to put our house together and a couch was one of them.  Kris told me there was a couch at Williams and Kay that she liked but would not tell me which one.  I jumped online and browsed their selection.  I picked out a couple that I liked, and put them in order from the most liked to the least.  We decided to go and look at the couches in person on lunchtime one day.  As we entered the show room floor I asked which one she liked and she told me to show her the one that I had picked.  As I walked around looking for the one that I had made my top choice and finally finding it, I stopped in front of it and she gave me this look of amazement.  In a joking tone, she asked me if this is the one I had picked and I said yes.  She said that is crazy and that this is the couch she has wanted for years but never could have it.  We discussed the purchase of this couch for a brief moment, and to her shock and amazement, I said we are getting it.  So as we now have a couch on order for our new place together, it was time to finish putting the rest of the items in place, but that would have to come once we cleaned the house to our liking (come to find out we are both OCD) so that we could actually be comfortable to move in.  Over the next few days we cleaned and scrubbed the kitchen and the house.  Now it was time for us to move in our belongings and finish setting our place up.

Throughout all of the things we have gone through in this short amount of time, we find that three words explain it all.  Amazing, Crazy, and Insane!  Not everyone will understand what we have, or what it is that we do for one another, heck at times we do not even fully understand it ourselves but with each day that passes we have begun to understand it more and more.  Not that we have covered much of it up to this point, but during all this time not only have we found a compatibility in how we interact, think, and read each other, we also have a connection in the bedroom that we have both been searching for so long that we both can fulfill for each other now.  If you want to know more keep following our post as we will continue to reveal more about our adventure in life each time.

 


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